It is the third day of me being unemployed (for the second time in less than a year, let me add), the first Monday of not going to work, the first day of actively searching for work. I don’t know what I intend to do with this page.. maybe I will use it to keep myself honest? A public record to hold myself accountable? Who knows. I think it might just be a way for me to spend some time away from staring at my resume and trying to cleverly word a cover letter to illustrate to some stranger why I would be the best fit for whatever the position they are offering.
It is not true though – the part where I said today is the first day I am doing anything about my “Situation.” I immediately reached out through friends and family to share what had happened to me, to see if anybody knew of any work, to advertise my baby sitting abilities. Today IS, however, the first day of me allowing what happened to sink in, to accept it as reality. For the past few days I have almost catatonically been saying, “I can’t believe this happened” sometimes adding “to me.” But today, I want to move past that. It HAS happened to me; I have always tried to rationalize that things happen for a reason, call it fate, or whatever. “So it goes” is a mantra that I have repeated over and over, for years.
As I want this to be more about what I am going to do, and less about what has been done, I won’t go into too much detail about what led to me being told “we have to let you go” (words that I really want to stop echoing in my ears). What I will say is that I left a stable (but boring) job to work for a small start-up, and while I was waiting for instruction, they were waiting for me to take initiative.. and then fired me after 3 weeks because of this, without ever reprimanding me, warning me, or even given me direction as to what I should be doing.
Today I made a check list of what I need to do to begin the search for another job, again. I was relieved when I saw that it was getting longer and longer, as this meant that I would have more to do all week. The more I have to do, the less time I have to just sit around and worry about what is going to happen to me now that I no longer have a reliable income. The shitty thing is, though, that I have pretty much finished the list. It wasn’t even that long, I think I was just really hoping that this week would be full, with little thinking time. I filed for unemployment, updated my resume on LinkedIn, Indeed, and Monster, and the Virginia Jobs website. Which doesn’t sound like much, but the last one took at least two hours. Ugh. <– I really can’t say that enough. I also had to respond to a couple of friends who had been looking out for me, and also.. Laundry.
I guess on the bright side, everything is about to be so much cleaner.
Bex is I 